Apply the concept of structuration to your own family. Discuss how changes in family membership (younger siblings, new in-laws, etc.), family member status (teenagers, new college students, retirements, parents returning to the workforce or to educational pursuits, etc.) and other elements have impacted your family.
How have some activities continued to be constrained, while others are now being created?
Your responses to Blog Post #1 are due by 5 pm Eastern Time on Monday, Jan. 25, 2010.
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I think structuration is a great way to describe a family, especially my family. My younger brother and I have an almost 5 yr difference, which growing up had up’s and down’s. My parents started a family a little later than most, in their mid-30’s. This is different from the family and friends we have who had started their families in their late 20’s. Due to starting a late family my parents looked into adoption, adding another piece to our structure as a family. All in all, my parents are “older” than “most,” my brother and I share an age gap, and my brother doesn’t look like the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteNot only do I believe the makeup of my family to be different, I also view it as dynamic. It is dynamic in the sense that it adds to the structure that makes up my family household. Communication in my nuclear family is what creates and re-creates my family. This changes quite often. When my brother and I were younger we were constantly playing with one another, and I quickly became the nurturing older sister. When my I hit high school and he middle school, it began to change somewhat. I was going through my “teen years,” and he was acting like a normal “tween” did at the time. This all affected our communication with each other and with our parents. There was no longer appreciation and glee when we’d do family things on the weekend, there was more time spent apart than anything else. Once technology made it to our house our lives were suddenly consumed with phone gabbing and computer gaming. Life was more demands than requests.
The struggle came to end when I entered college and my brother was moving his way through high school. This is when maturity began to kick in and the family structure shifted again. I think it shifted more back to where it had started, when we all appreciated the hard work of one another. This is when I think more activities began to be created and even re-created. Sure, my brother would still fight some family activities, but because we were all getting older conversations became more in-depth. The structure of conversation between each of my parents has become more “adult-like,” and I don’t feel as though I’m being instructed, but rather asked for advice. However, activities between my brother I have slowly dwindled. I do notice that I still maintain somewhat of a nurturing mother-like status when I’m around him and mom and dad aren’t. That is something that has yet to diminish. Overall, my concept of family revolves around the ever-changing structuration it undergoes when big changes are made. I’m sure activities and conversations will be created and re-created even more so this spring when I graduate college and my brother graduates high school. I’m looking forward to what’s in store.
I can see how the concept of structuration can be applied to my family. I have two sisters and growing up in our household, we all experienced different disciplinary actions. My older sister and I have a 5yr age difference. We grew-up with our father and he was the head “honcho” in our house. We weren’t allowed to listen to certain types of music, wear finger polish or earrings. We also had to be in bed at a certain time. After my younger sister was born, a few months later my father passed away. My mother, now a single-parent, began to re-create the structure of our household by changing the disciplinary and communication. Although, we still were suppose to be in bed by a certain time, we still could do the little things we couldn’t before.
ReplyDeleteWhen we hit our teen years, things started to change. We all experienced a different side of my mother, especially when it came to dating. Tell this day, no young man is allowed upstairs in our home. When my older sister started dating, no guys were even allowed in the house. When my sister got pregnant, the structure began to re-create itself again. Now we had this new addition to our family. My older sister wanted to go out and have the same freedom as she did before, but my mother held her to her responsibilities. When I started dating, you could see my mother change a little. Every guy I have every dated, my mother had to meet. My mother even allowed one of my guy friends to sleep over and me to sleep over at their house. This was something my mom never allowed my older sister to do. My older sister holds this over my head tell this day. My younger sister hasn’t started dating, but she still has a lot more freedom now then we did when we were her age.
My younger sister has had it pretty easy compared to us. My mother allows her to do more things then she has every allowed us to do. For example, my sister was in the 5th grade when she received her first cell phone and she was in the 6th when she was allowed to have boys calling the house. For my older sister and I, that wasn’t allowed until we hit high school. My younger sister had her first “boyfriend” in 6th grade. My older sister and I didn’t have our first boyfriend until high school.
I believe that a lot of the change growing up with my mother has to do with the affect each daughter has on the next. For example, my older sister would talk my mother into allowing me to do things and I would do the same for my younger sister. We all look out and encourage one another in the steps that we take. Our interactions with one another are lot more open than what they use to be especially, when it comes to discipline. What one daughter wasn’t allowed to do before, the other is given the opportunity to. Not because of favoritism, but how the communication within the household is steady creating and re-creating itself. We all are experiencing different things in a different time, and I can’t wait too see what other things change when my sister hits high school.
My family structure is not what most people would call a typical family. My mom and dad are separated and have been that way since I was born. I do not speak to my father because of certain lifestyles and things that have happened in the past. My mom had both my brother and I before she turned twenty five and has had to raise both of us all on her own. She is a nurse and has always tried to make our family close and give us everything we needed even when I know that it has been hard for her to always be so strong.
ReplyDeleteI have an older brother who is also in college and about to graduate from pharmacy school. My brother and I could not be more opposites. When we were little he cut all my hair off and I think that probably started our ongoing differences. He loves science while I would rather read a good book.He loves anything Japanese and I would much rather be shopping or with my friends Our communication is not always straight to the point without much extras or niceness added in. My mom has always tried to make us closer but our differences make it hard to become more like friends.
With my brother graduating in May and moving out on his own maybe we can find common ground and grow and closer relationship. I know with this new milestone approaching nothing would make my mom happier then to see the structure of our family change. I also would not mind getting to know my brother and broadening our communication.
My family moved from Chicago, Illinois to Chapel Hill, North Carolina when I was 13 years old. My brother is 5 years younger than me, my sister is 6 years younger than me. It was a complete culture shock, and it definitely changed some of our family dynamics. When we lived in Illinois, pretty much anywhere you needed to go was about 10 minutes away. However, when we got to North Carolina, it was about 30 minutes to get anywhere. I will never forget when my parents told me “Your new school is right down the road from our house!” When we lived in Illinois, I rode my bike to school. The NC definition of “right down the road” was actually more like “right down the road, over the river and through the woods and 20 minutes later you end up at school”. Our family routine was very different. We had to get up even earlier for school, my parents had to make more time in their days for dropping us off and picking us up from (different) schools, dinner was later in the evening, which in turn meant less family time because we had to go to bed earlier because we had woken up early. All of that changed just because instead of being 5 minutes down the road, our school was 20 minutes away. The norms of our family’s daily structure adapted to our new lifestyle. It was normal for our family to eat at 7:00 pm instead of when most families eat around 5:30, if we even got to eat together at all.
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I have always had a pretty good relationship, but with my brother it’s always been a little tricky. Our relationship still to this day is constrained. We don’t talk much and have hardly anything in common. We are just different people. It could be our age difference or it could be that we were raised during some of our critical years in 2 completely different places with completely different norms. Yet my sister and my relationship just seems to keep getting better. We are closer than ever, which is sometimes surprising considering that we are so far apart in age. We are creating very close bonds just because she’s getting older. It’s the same way with my parents. There were times in high school where I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. But now when I go home, hanging out with my parents is usually the best part of my weekend. All in all, I know that our family is constantly changing in regards to societal changes, family changes, relationship changes, etc. I'm sure whatever is ahead will be difficult, but also exciting...as long as my siblings and I don't kill each other first.
In my nuclear family, I have a dad, older brother, and a twin brother. I also have grandparents, aunt, uncle, and two cousins, all on my mother’s side. I am not only the youngest in my whole family, I am also the only granddaughter which is interesting because I receive a lot of special attention that the other guys in the family cannot experience. This also means I grew up as a tom boy.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest cousin, now 30, is finally getting married, so we will be “adopting” a whole new family soon, which will change everything in a good way because we really like our future in-laws. As the youngest at age 21, my twin brother and I are the only ones who are still in school and are the last to graduate from college, which will be a huge milestone for my dad, after all 3 of his kids have received proper educations. My dad still works but plans to retire in 5-7 years or so.
Another major impact for my family was the unexpected death of my mom almost a year ago. Since the whole family is from my mom’s side (my aunt is my mom’s twin sister), it is causing a lot of emotional turmoil knowing now that out of my grandparents’ 3 children, only 1 has survived. Also, we have always considered my mom and my aunt to be the “glue” in the family and now that glue is no longer intact, which makes things more difficult. Our family will never be the same.
My parents had us at a later age as well, so there is a great difference (my mom was 38 and my dad was 40). My older brother is only 2 years older than my twin brother and me, which naturally helps us grow close as we experienced everything together at such close ages. The 3 of us are known as the “Teaguelets” in the family and are extremely close. We are each other’s best friends. It is not very common for all siblings to be such good friends, let alone be so close and dependent on each other throughout our whole lives. We’ve always been close, but most recently we are the closest we’ve ever been. I can say for certainty that we cannot see each other living far away from one another once we start our own families in the future. As we grow older, we become closer and closer, which I thought was so unlikely since we were already close as it was.
As you can notice, twins run in the family, as my mom and my aunt are identical twin sisters, and my grandmother’s sisters were twins, as well. I think having twins run in the family adds a special uniqueness and bond to the family since all the twins in our family have grown to be very close with each other. Hopefully it will continue that way.
With future in-laws joining the family soon, the structuration of our family will change only for the better after experiencing a death in the family for the past year, and as a result, we will create more bonds with new family members.
We are constantly constructing and re-constructing structure in our lives. We have many communities we are involved in that have a certain structure to them whether it’s with school, work, personal, or social communities. One big part of my life that I see structuration is with my family.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in Massachusetts and all over New York (we moved many times!). I had to adapt to many changes in my life—setting, environment, weather, meeting friends, etc. With each move, there were noticeable changes but the roles of my family members stayed the same.
I continued to be close with my younger sister and older brother because I did not know anyone else. My parents continued to teach us values in life and were a positive role model. I saw my older brother as a protector and my younger sister as a best friend.
When we lived in New York my dad got promoted a job in New Hampshire. However, it was right after we moved to New York and we did not want to pack up and leave again. Because of the financial benefits the job provided, my dad decided to take the offer in New Hampshire. For 3 years he lived there and would visit on weekends…or we would drive six hours and visit him. Because I was young I never realized how this changed our family structure until now. For two years, the structure of my family was lacking the father figure. This impacts me today because I am now closer to my mother because she was more around during my prime growing stages in life.
At age 12, we moved again. This time to Williamsburg, Virginia, where my dad was promoted to a job in Richmond. Our family was finally back together under one house. This change was hard on me and my siblings because we had to change schools in the middle of the year. However, with all the moving and changing within my family, I am now able to adapt to different environments well.
Moving all over the north then to the south actually helped me with my transition to college. I was used to moving and meeting different friends so that aspect of college wasn’t too hard on me as others I know. As I went to college, I have noticed my role in my family has changed. My parents got a divorce my freshman year in college which has a big impact on my family. My dad now lives in Richmond so it’s more difficult to see him when I go home. My sister is the only one at home still so it’s been hard on her not having a father figure. My mom has taken up that role along with her role of a mother and showing caring, guidance, and love. Because my dad is not always around my sister, I have taken on the role of being more protecting towards her. She is five years younger than me so I know a little bit on what she’s going through. One role as a sister I struggle with is having a balance between being the older sister and the best friend.
Although I have seen a lot of changes with my family structure—some good, some bad—they have all made me who I am today. Even though the divorce was really hard on my family, and continues to be, it has strengthened my family and my relationship with my sister and mom. The role I have in my family demonstrates my personality characteristics. As I get older I change the structure of my family. One example of this was how I’ve become more protective over my sister. The family over the years has defiantly proved that structure is not constant and changes every day.
While reading about structuration in chapter 6, I saw a number of ways to apply it to my family. The first idea that comes to mind is the way in which my brother and I interact with my parents as we grow up and move out of the house, etc. For the most part, I think my parents still treat both of us like children to some extent. Matthew, my brother, has been living on his own for several years now, but has always been the sort to need taken care of, and in turn this has made my mom believe that I needed the same sort of constant attention. It is through my communication with her, whether successful or not, that I have encouraged her to see us as separate entities and I that I do not need quite so many reminders about different things. Also, through talking with her, she has come to learn from both of us more about the particular structure our relationship. While I like to bounce ideas for things off of her, she sometimes sees that as me asking for advice. In many ways I feel like the things I am communicating to my mother, in particular when it comes to my independence, seemed to be ignored since I am still 95% financially dependent on my parents.
ReplyDeleteIn another part of our family structure I see the relationship between my dad and me to be completely different from the one I share with my mom. As a military family, we hopped from state to state every two to three years of my life and adjusted to the life according to the stress level of my dad’s new position. Some things about each job remained the same, while others changed. In fact, it wasn’t until I was in high school that I learned other people my age, specifically my girl friends, actually had relationships with their fathers. I do not at all mean for this to be a harsh statement; it was just the reality of my world. My dad would show up for one of my cross country or track meets from time to time, or be around if people came over on weekends, but it was rare to see him at the dinner table on an average week night or to have him ask us how our day went. It wasn’t until I entered college that I realized how little we knew each other, and since then our communication has changed, as well as the entire structure of our relationship.
None of this is to say that my family is not loving or caring in any way, we are just all learning how to get along….together. And as it turns out, it’s a fairly difficult process. My dad retired from the Air Force in the summer of 2008 and is now working for a defense contractor in Northern Virginia and this alone has created somewhat of a rift in our family life. We have been learning to adjust to each others varying levels of awareness about one another, and to differing degrees, but overall it seems that while our understanding of each other is growing, our behaviors are remaining the same.
Growing up, a key value with my family was spending time with each other. Once my older brothers left and went to college, the day to day activities at my house began to change. The routinized practices changed because no longer were there 5 people sitting at the dinner table having many different conversations. Instead it was only 3 people at the table making it seem practically empty. With the table seeming empty along with the house many routinized, day to day activities changed. Instead of eating dinner around the table, my parents and I ate in the living room or sometimes in separate parts of the house. No longer did I do my homework at the dining room table with my brothers next to me, instead I would stay in my room or sit on the couch. Also, in the morning I didn’t have to run to the bathroom trying to get there first, which meant I was able to sleep in just a little longer.
ReplyDeleteWhen my brother got married two summers ago there were some family activities that seemed a little more strained and uncomfortable. For instance, my brother and I would play playstation2 together and got along really well. After he got married, his wife and him would always be together so if we all 3 wanted to play playstation2 we would have to take turns since we only have 2 controllers. Then when my brother and I would be having a lot of fun playing a game, his wife would lean over and say she was bored, meaning the game was over and I was left by myself in the living room. Also, when my brother was first married and they would come over to eat with me and my parents, the conversations were a little awkward because it was like we had a guest there instead of just family.
My brother has now been married for four years and while it’s different to hang out when he comes over because his wife is always with him, but new activities have been created. They recently got a puppy, so when my brother comes over it always means that I get to play with his puppy and it also means my parents put away anything that the puppy will try to chew on. While there have been these changes happening in my family causing some activities to be constrained, there have also been fun, new activities created due to these changes.
Communication and interaction between organization members and the organization structure itself “produce” each other. This organizational “duality of structure” can also be applied to family units, including my family- The Weidners. Changes in membership, member status, and location have impacted our family over time.
ReplyDeleteThe Weidner “party of five” seemed to change once my oldest sister, Stephanie, started dating and then married her husband, Justin. As a house that was 4/5 women, we were not use to having men other than my father around. Once Stephanie and Justin became serious and visited our home during long breaks from the Coast Guard Academy, the dynamic in our house would change. When Justin was around, the communication patterns were different. The women no longer bickered about petty things, we didn’t raise our voices as much as we use to, and we toned down our dramatic outbursts. Maybe it was because he was Stephanie’s boyfriend and we didn’t want to scare him away. Maybe it was because he was a male, and we didn’t quite know how to behave in front of him. Maybe it was because we knew he wasn’t from a loud and dramatic family like ours. Whatever the reason, the introduction of Justin into our family caused us to be more aware of how we interacted with one another. We positively changed our communication patterns to be less dramatic and more forgiving than we were before there was another male in the household.
While communication patterns changed with the introduction of Justin to the family, treatment of siblings according to birth order is something that has remained consistent over the years. My sisters and I are knowledgeable agents, and recognize what our role is within the structure of the family. As the oldest, Stephanie has connected the most with my father- following his footsteps to be the competitive, athletic, military-oriented daughter. She continues to prefer structure, giving advice, and keeping everyone in-line, which she has done since she was a little girl. Kristen has always been the creative type- from performing on stage in drama and band to her current career as a graphic designer. Kristen’s ideas of fantasy and reality are not always in line with the rest of the family, so she knows her place as “the middle child/black sheep”, and has come to accept that she is not always on the same page as everyone else. Although I am a twenty-one year old woman, I will always been seen as “the baby” since I am the third and final daughter. My parents feel the need to give me the most support financially and emotionally. I am also responsible for having the most energy and positive outlook; my family will look to me to lighten the mood if we are facing a conflict. These roles have been instilled in us since our youth, and we recognize and continue to maintain these roles even in adulthood.
Being a “military family,” The Weidners became accustomed to picking up and moving to where the Navy needed to station my father, a submarine officer. Having to switch schools every few years is not easy, so our family of five became a tighter unit. Even though our surroundings would change dramatically, the love, support, and comfort of our family unit became stronger with each move. It does not surprise me that several of my classmates have also reflected on family relocation as an application of structuration within a family dynamic. Constantly changing your environment can produce routinized rules and practices of learning to adapt to new places, yet the familiar structure of your family remains the same or even grows stronger among the new surroundings.
The addition of Justin to the Weidner Family brought about positive changes in communication patterns. Birth order will continue to shape roles and interaction within our family. Changes in location have helped to define our family as a familiar and cohesive unit. These changes reflect how structuration can be applied to an organization everyone is familiar with- a family.
When thinking about the concept of structuration, I can see how it is present within my family. I have one younger sister and there is a two year age gap. Growing up we went through our ups and downs and experienced similar and different disciplinary. Being the oldest child, I feel that my parents were a little more disciplined with me because I am the first child, causing me to test them on what I could and couldn’t do without getting in trouble. However, my sister had it a lot more easier because my parents dealt with me growing up and knew what to expect. For example, I was not allowed to get a cell phone until high school and she received hers when she was in 8th grade.
ReplyDeleteAlthough there was discipline in my family, I don’t feel that it was very strongly enforced. Discipline was used when it needed to be. I have never been grounded and I didn’t have a curfew in high school. When I got in trouble I was lectured until I understood that what I did was wrong. My parents and I have grown to have a similar understanding and I know what is right and wrong in their eyes. If I was going to be late, I needed to call and have good communication with them letting them know I was okay and not getting into any serious trouble. I also feel that the discipline on what my sister and I do isn’t as strong in my family because both of my parents worked full time so they were not always home. Since they were always working, I learned to be very independent and take care of myself. Since my sister and I are both in college, the communication between everyone is more open and we are treated like adults in the household.
If I had to choose a place where discipline was and is enforced the most, it would be on my sister and I’s spending and not just sitting around doing nothing. Currently, due to the poor economy my dad lost his job so we need to learn to be more cautious about how we spend our money. We both need to realize that some things that we want we don’t necessarily need. Growing up, we were both encouraged to have a job and be part of school activities so we would not just be doing nothing. My parents were always on top of us about getting a job and doing things outside of the house. I feel that the strong, and persistent communication in my family decreases the amount of discipline needed among my sister and I. It is clearly understood that my parents have more power over my sister and I and that misunderstandings will occur between all of us.
In 1998, when I was 10 years old, my parents decided to move our family from northern New Jersey to central Jersey. Growing up I lived within a one mile radius to my grandparents, aunts, and many of my cousins. When I was born both of my parents worked full time so my grandmother took care of me everyday. My dad worked out of our house and it stayed this way since I was born. But in 1993 after my brother was born, my mom stopped working. From this time until I was 10 years old my mom never worked. Therefore, even though my dad was still working full time, everyone in my family was still at home for most of the day. Whenever I came home from school I would spend time with my mom, brother, and sometimes my grandparents. Even my dad would take a mid-afternoon break from work and spend time with us. However, in 1998 when my family moved to central Jersey, I saw a lot less of my grandparents and extended family. Furthermore, my mom began to work as a teacher at the elementary school in town. Before the move, we lived in a smaller home so money was never really an issue. But once we moved south, my mom had to get a job to help pay for expenses. This was another big change because now my mom was working full time and could not rely on my grandparents to come over and help take care of me and my brother after school. Everything in our new home was going well but after about 5 years of living in our new home, I noticed a change in my mother. Not only was our time together as a family constrained to her busy work schedule, but her mood was also different. My mom was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. After battling with these mental diseases for about a year, she finally had to leave her job. My dad was worried about her health and thought this was the best thing for her and our family. Although it was a good thing my mom stopped working, it definitely changed the dynamics of our family again. I believe that my mom found a sense of accomplishment in working and being able to support our family. Even today she is still not working and it has been this way since I was a freshman in high school. My dad is still hesitant to ask her to work because he does not want her to get sick. But although my mom has not gotten a “paying job”, within the last 3 years she has become certified as a volunteer hospice nurse and this has given her a sense of joy. I think it has been great for my family as well because it gives my family something to talk to my mom about and allows for us to spend some time by ourselves but then come together to share stories amongst ourselves. I have found that my family communicates more when we are all involved in our own activities and then come together to spend time with one another. My mom’s illness changed the dynamics of my family, and I believe it brought us closer as a family. Ever since my mom’s diagnosis, I have become much closer to my dad. I have always been very close with my mom (we are very similar), but the deep love, friendship, and respect that I have for my dad grew after my mom stopped working. I think the move was a culture shock (moving from just outside NYC to a more rural area) and the change in a stay at home mom to full time mother was a shock for my mom as well, thus there was a strain put on my family. But over time, although the structure has changed often (between closeness in relationships & who was working to help support our family financially), all circumstances have brought us to a deep understanding and love for one another.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky enough to say that my parents are still happily married but being an only child was never much fun. Our small family structure may be one reason my family and I are so close. Although my family is small, it is a strong one and I have realized just how strong over the past few frustrating months.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago my family and I moved into a new home and created a comfortable everyday routine at this location. Unfortunately, we soon found out that the previous owner had dozens of cats crawling in and out of the house, which my mom is highly allergic to. We were again in search of a new home, one that would not make my mom stay in excruciating pain whenever she stepped into the front door. It took a great deal of time and patience when we finally sold our house. The frustration and stress began when we found out we had to be out two weeks before Christmas of 2009. Our routine became complete chaos when our only option was to move into my grandparent’s home, who are both in their late 80s. I love my grandparents very much but there is only so much my family of three can take sharing one bathroom for five people and only two guest beds. Not only did our routine change, but the power structure in the house became much more complicated than I imagined.
According to Giddens, the structure of an organization is not concrete but is created when individuals interact, and our interactions over the holiday became quite stressful at times. My grandparents have had their own systemized routines for 61 years and this changed the structure of our family a great deal. I felt as if I had two sets of parents and was not sure who to listen to at times, which constrained some freedoms I took for granted. The age gap between my parents and my grandparents is quite large, therefore, determining when I should be in at night and with whom becomes a much bigger deal than it was with just my parents. Although these constraints were in place, I have been able to get to know my grandparents a great deal more are partake in more activities. Their stories and their wisdom is what makes our family structure what it is today, and I am very thankful they are still with me and my family.
My family has gone through a lot of change. Considering structuration is a good way to examine my family. I have an older brother and two younger siblings. When we were younger my dad worked, and my mother took care of us in the traditional “motherly” way. When I was ten years old, my mother passed away and our family changed drastically. My dad hired an au pair, but she could not assume the role of my mother. My older brother started getting into a lot of trouble, and my dad spent a lot of time yelling at him. My siblings and I talked a lot less, and sort of kept to ourselves. My dad got remarried to a woman who already had four children of her own. This changed my family considerably.
ReplyDeleteEven though we were united into one ten-person family, we still sort of kept apart. My dad had rules for his children, and Paula, my stepmother, had rules for her children. My stepsiblings continued to go to private school, while my siblings and I went to public. Other differences remained, as each half of the family continued to live the lives we had each been living before my father and stepmother met. The two halves of my family were far different from each other, but over time we are becoming more and more alike. My sister and stepsisters have become very close, we go on family vacations as a whole, and we typically celebrate holidays together. My family is still changing a lot, with everyone near their college years, but we also still keep many of our traditions the constant.
The concept of structuration can be applied to my family very easily. Initially, I was raised by my mother and father with one sibling, my elder brother. Although my parents were married, my father acted as my primary caretaker because my mother was mentally unstable. Even as a young child, I remember my father disciplining me. This was a principle that he was adamant about instituting, in a loving way of course. When I was four years old however, my father passed away and I was adopted by my aunt. My brother and I were raised separately by two of his sisters and this changed a number of things. Because I was so young, I began referring to my aunt as my mother, and her three daughters were considered to be my sisters. My aunt was much older than my father, and actually raised him herself. Because of this, she was a bit more experienced with raising children and begin to instill quality value systems into my life. One thing that changed was the discipline. While I vividly remember being spanked by my father, this was an aspect of discipline that became extinct while living with my aunt. She was very involved in my studies as well. She worked hard to see me succeed. When I was ten however, she passed away and I was then adopted my her youngest daughter, who was only twelve years older than I. This changed a lot of things. Like mentioned earlier, my aunt was very involved with my schooling and learning. She was also very affectionate, communicating much of her emotions through touch. My sister on the other hand was completely opposite. She was not an affectionate person, thus I was deprived in this regard, she was also not very interested in my studies. My sister also had to adopt a motherly role as well. With that being said, the structure created by my aunt was both altered and recreated in a sense. Completing chores, attending church, practicing diligence in my schooling were all aspects that were continued as normal. The structure was recreated however, through the change in communication. There was much more freedom as far as bed times,and going out, but much less communication in our home. My sister had to work more hours, and because I was reserved and quiet in nature and my sister less inclined to probe, we did not talk much. Needless to say, this structure was vastly different from what I was accustomed to but, nothing is without reason and today we communicate much more.
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ReplyDeleteMy immediate family consists of my mother, father, and twin brother. The structure of my family has always been very constant and predictable until my brother and I prepared to leave for college. Having never been without my brother and myself for longer than a couple weeks, my mother was very upset to see us go. She was used to a daily routine of providing and caring for us, and needed to restructure how she spent her time. My father worked for a construction/remodeling company as a project supervisor for many years and recently decided to become a licensed contractor and start his own business. While the economy was stable, my father was very successful. My mother works as an IT manager for a company that constructs modular buildings, but always puts our family's needs first. My mother has always operated as the traditional mom who cooks, cleans, and takes care of the home, in addition to her career. As the economy suffered, my father's business ultimately suffered; he would have less jobs and more time at home. My father began taking on more duties around the house, such as doing laundry and cleaning, which he was not accustomed to doing. Now that the economy is slowly improving, my father is getting more work but is continuing to do his share around the house. I am happy for this change in the structure of our family; there seems to be more equal delegation of responsbilities at home. My brother and I both go to school of out state, and usually can only make it home during college breaks. My parents have adopted texting as the means to informally communicate on a day-to-day basis, though we do converse over the phone at least once a week. As my brother and I are approaching graduation, my parents are looking to downsize and move close to the beach where they will soon retire.
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I were born in Southern California and lived there until I was 12. We grew up in a strong Christian family and attended church every Sunday, as well we were enrolled in a private Christian school. My parents spent their whole life in California with all of our relatives also residing in California and being little more than a three hour drive max. My mother tried to explain the importance of family. However, I just always felt that my relatives would always be close by, and visiting/talking with them was never at the top of my to do list.
ReplyDeleteWhen the year 2000 hit my father received a job working for Prudential. The job was in Morris County, New Jersey. Our family life changed dramatically. My parents had never lived outside of Southern California so moving to New Jersey was a huge deal. It took the entire three years we lived to finally adjust to the change. Even though middle school is about the age when it is “uncool” to hang out with your parents, it was during those years that I became closer to my parents. The four of us had only each other for the first year until my sister and I learned how to make new friends. Another change for us was that we tried different churches but could never decide on one that we all liked and, unfortunately, going to Church every Sunday slowly began to fade out of lives.
Life became harder when we received news that my mother’s sister was now battling breast cancer. My aunt was my mother’s best friend. When my aunt passed away in 2002 my mother was devastated. There was nothing any of us could do to cheer her up. She hardly ever smiled and she flew to California all the time to see her mother and family/friends. It was hard for my sister and I to be home alone all the time, especially since it was before we could drive and therefore had to stay home or find rides.
In 2003 our life changed yet again. My father was laid off and obtained a new job that forced us to move to Virginia and start all over again. This second move was even harder for me because I was starting sophomore year of high school and the “cliques” had been formed. Making friends was pretty much impossible for my first year. My mother, although moving on from her loss, found the move hard because she didn’t have her sister to talk to everyday. My father began to feel as if he had let us down. The four of us became inseparable and my sister and I finally learned the importance of family. Today I feel that moving to Virginia was the best thing to happen to my sister and me. Looking back on the lives that my friends from California and especially New Jersey are currently leading, I thank my dad every day for moving us to Virginia. Along with the importance of family, doing well in school and actually having goals in life was another aspect that became important to me after leaving New Jersey. My sister and I talk to our mom on the phone everyday and we are constant contact with our relatives in California. Moving allowed me to have a variety of experiences and in the end, it made me a stronger person and definitely made adjusting to college very easy for me.
Structuration, with most families, is very prominent within my nuclear family. Our nuclear family consists of my mom, dad, and two brothers, Carl and Drew. Interaction among each of us and the communication aids to evolve and change the way we structure our own lives and our lives together.
ReplyDeleteMy parents met when they both were in Germany working as a school teacher and an officer in the Army. They were in their 30’s and a bit older than other couples to marry. I have two older brothers, each of us three years apart in age. My oldest brother, Carl is 27 years old, has had many life changes within the past few years and is now recently married. My other brother, Drew, who is 24 years old, also had some recent life changes, having just graduated from college and now in the workforce. I am the youngest and have experienced less, personally, but learn a lot from my brothers’ life decisions.
Carl’s life has impacted us all and has changed the structure in our family. His member status has changed drastically within the past few years. Once graduating from college, he moved straight to Savannah, GA where he was in the army as an army officer. He deployed to Iraq, which put a large amount of stress on my parents, constantly worrying about his life and wellbeing. The only thing my parents would think and talk about was the war in Iraq and Carl with his battalion. As expected from any parent whose child was in a war over in Iraq, my parents were constantly in contact with him and sending him things his division needed. However, from Drew and my standpoint, our parents only focused on Carl, which put a strain on our family structure. It seemed the status of Carl was more important than Drew and mine. As a result, our family member status was not equal, but more separated having a child over in Iraq fighting a war.
Now, Carl is back from Iraq, out of the Army, and working with a civilian company in Alexandria, VA. You can imagine how much better our family strucuration improved having him back in the states and living much closer to us.
Drew has recently had different family member statuses. Having just graduated from college this past May, he has had the responsibility of moving out on his own and finding a career job. Knowing this economy, not many people were hiring, much less hiring recent college graduates with little to no experience. Drew struggled to maintain his positive family member status and to impress our parents that he could find a job all on his own. Unfortunately, he has been having a rough time finding a steady job, and is working for temporary companies right now. This has put a lot of family stress on my parents, trying to support him, yet allow him to learn through his own experience how to live in the real world.
The way we act and perceive life is structured through pre-existing norms and rules within our social structure as a family. For example, our values and morals are based upon what our parents believe. I tend to learn more towards the conservative side because that is how my parents act. I also am taught by my parents and watching my brothers that we are expected to get a job and be a working citizen after college. Of course, my parents do help us when needed, but I do not want my parents to think I cannot work and find a job myself after graduation. I want to make my parents proud and prove to them I am a hard worker. Our parents support us with every decision we make and help us when we are in trouble. But, I am at the age, now, where I want to show them I can achieve things as well as redeem myself when something goes wrong. All of our actions are performed from a pre-existing social structure which is governed by a set of norms within our family. Our actions as the children are partly predetermined based on the contextual rules under our parents. However, the structure and rules are not permanent and external. For example, our parents do not want to give hand-outs to us when we are in need. When my brother Drew was having trouble finding a job the summer after college graduation, my parents offered to let him stay at our home. Drew declined this offer; instead, he continued to live in his apartment and managed to get by, proving to our parents he could make it without help. My parents care deeply about us, want us to learn lessons, but when we are in need, they are more than willing to help us.
ReplyDeleteAll of these recent changes have greatly impacted my family. While Carl was in Iraq, it brought our family closer together. We all could help each other through such a rough time. My mother was the most greatly impacted by his service. It was her first born over in the Middle East, fighting for our country. We all came together to support her as well as other family members. Our family structure changed from living our day to day lives, to supporting Carl and his battalion.
Though some activities do not continue to be constrained and forced in our family structure, I strongly believe I am creating more structures that impact our family. Doing well in school, keeping in contact, being there for each other during rough times, and supporting each other’s decisions are just a few family ideals upheld. My parents fully support each one of us. Our family structure is definitely dynamic, self-motivated and active. We are such a tight-knit family, which helps each other to evolve. My family has dramatically improved with contact from the advancement of technology. Both of my parents have a blackberry and Carl, Drew, and I have an iPhone. All of us have access to phone calling, texting, and especially e-mail. Through all three of these communication tools, we are constantly talking back and forth, involved and up-to-date in each other’s lives. This family activity has definitely brought our family structure to newer and better levels.
After reading Chapter 6, I think structuration is a good way to describe my family. I have a younger brother, 19, who is three years younger me. Both of us were adopted when we were babies. I was four months old when I arrived and my brother, three years later, was six months old. Before my brother and I came, both my parents worked, as well as my dad finishing up school and getting his PhD. When I arrived, my mom stopped working and started her own day care at home so she could be a stay at home mom with me and then also when my brother came too. My dad was the primary caretaker in which he worked a lot of hours, but he still came home and had dinner with us during the week and he was always home on the weekends.
ReplyDeleteAll my extended family: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents…etc all live in Michigan. My brother and I have grown up with not having close family around us. However, us four have stayed close and remain close to this day. We strive hard to get along as a family. We share things with each other and go on family trips together. However, this has gotten harder because I went to college three years ago and my brother just started college this past fall. Now both my brother and I are in college, away from home. My brother goes to George Mason which is about 20 minutes from my house, but he lives on campus so my parents don’t have anyone living at home anymore. I think this was a huge change. First of all, I think it was a big change when I left. I remember my parents would call me and say how different it was in the house without me there. But, I think the most drastic change was this past August when Noah went off to college. My parents would tell me how empty the house was, but I would get more phone calls about them going out and hanging out with their friends or starting little projects around the house that they didn’t do so much when the kids were still home. The structure of the conversation that takes place now between my parents and us is more mature and adult like. My parents treat us more fairly and more like adults now that we are both in college and living on our own. Our conversations are different, the activities we do together are different and even our day to day interactions are different, all due to the big changes we have encountered in the past couple of months.
Another part of my family structure that I want to touch on is the relationship between my mom and I. My mom and I have never been very close. In high school, we always got into arguments and butted heads most of the time. We had different opinions about everything so our communication was not strong. After I left for college, things started to change and our relationship has progressed. It was hard for awhile when all my girlfriends would talk about how close they were to their moms and I didn’t have those same feelings. However, I finally realized that our opinions were always going to differ and we weren’t going to agree on the same things all the time, so both my mom and I have tried really hard over the years to strengthen our bond and drop things that do not matter as much. Our communication has changed greatly and for the better, and we are closer now than we ever were before.
As a family we have been learning how to accommodate one another, adjust to changes in our lives together and support one another through transitions and tough times. The structuration of our family will change even more as I graduate from college and hopefully start my own career, which could be close or away from home. Also, it is going to change when my brother finishes up college and does the same. However, these changes will be positive changes and as we grow as a family our understandings of each other will continue to develop as well.
My immediate family consists of me, my two brothers, my mom and dad. The structure of our family has changed throughout the years since both me and my brother have gone to college. My family has always had the same routine before I went off to college. My mom quit her job to be a stay at home mom when I was born. So everyday, we would go to school, come home, my mom would cook dinner, my dad would be home at five or six and then if my brothers and I were in any activities, we would go off to them. This happened every year until I was in 7th grade. My mom started working again that year, but for a high school that I would later attend. So not much changed then. My mom would still be home when we got there and still made dinner, etc. Once I started high school, the morning routine changed a bit because I wound up going with her to school. The latter part of the day was the same though.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to college, however, is where it changed a bit. There were now only four people in the house and my mom would call me and tell me how different the house was without me in it. I was the lively one. The one who talked about her day at the dinner table. So it was a big change at home when I left. The structure of the relationship with me and my mom also grew for the better. Our communication on the phone grew and we got along so much better.
The next year, my brother went off to college but, it was a good change for me because he came to JMU. The structure of our relationship grew stronger and stronger everyday. We are best friends now and live next door to each other. I see him everyday. So you see, yes, structure can change throughout a lifetime, but they can be positive. I'll be graduating this year and I know the structure of my family will again change because I will be back at home and my brother will still be here. We will see how well I get along with my parents then! I hope it will stay the same as it has since I've been at college, but we will soon see.
Structuration definately applies to my family. My immediate family is made up of my dad, my mom, me and my younger sister Lindsay. The age gap between me and my sister is 2 1/2 years so we are fairly close in age. Throughout the years, my family has gone through some structure changes. As my sister and I grew up and were in our elementary school days, we always had a family routine. Get up for school, hop on the bus, come home, do homework, play, have dinner, then be in bed by a certain time. My mom was a stay at home mom while my dad worked, so it was my mom's job to run the family structure. As my sister and I reached our middle school and high school days, things changed a little. My mom went back to work since we were old enough to be home alone, so she wasnt there when we got home from school. My sister and I were forced to take on more responsibility and become more mature. So suddenly it was up to my sister and I to re-structure our routine until mom and dad came home. It was still my moms responsiblitlity to make sure my sister and I got to our after school activities and my dads job to bring in the income.
ReplyDeleteHigh school came and some things changed. I got my license so I was usually in charge of running errands and picking up and droppping of my sister, meaning more responsibility for me. My mom stoppped working her job so it was an adjustment to get used to her being back at home. There was some disagreements that occured more frequently between my mom my sister and I because we werent used to her bing back at home all the time, monitoring every move we made.
Then college came and thats what really shook things up. My family wasn't used to having only 3 people around so it was difficult at first for everyone once I went to JMU. I found however that I became closer with everyone once I was moved out and that I appreciated my time with my family more. Once my sister went to school, it really hit my mom hard. She missed her girls but found that after awhile she enjoyed the peace and quiet and not having to constantly make sure we were picking up after ourselves. I know that once I graduate, the structure of my family will change once again when getting used to the adjustment of having one of the kids back in the house.
Some activities has been constrained due to the constant changes my family has been through such as the more my sister and I got older and went away to school, the less time we wanted to have "family time" which we used to do constantly. However, I feel that I am closer with my parents and my family and I feel like I can talk more openly about things in my life that I felt would be horrifying to talk to them about in high school (parties, alcohol, relationships...etc.)I feel that all these changes my family structure has undergone have always been for the better and I'm not afraid to bring on any other changes!
My family is constantly structuring and restructuring. My family consists of my mom, my dad, and me and my twin brother. We are all involved in so many different things, and these different things; i.e. school, work, Greek life, sports, etc., proves that we constantly use structuration within my family.
ReplyDeleteStructuration has been a major part of my family my whole life. My brother and I were born in England, but we have moved eight times total in our lives. Beyond moving with our family, going to college was a huge change. We move a lot and our environment changes and will continue to change, as well as the person I am to my parents and my brother, and who they are to me will change over time. I will always be a daughter, or a sister, and they will always be my parents and my brother, but how we help each other and view each other at times will change.
One major change that caused us to restructure my family was when my brother and I were in the seventh grade and my dad accepted a promotion in his company. This promotion gave him better work opportunities, but it caused him to work away from home three weeks out of every month. My mom really had to change because she was not used to being a single, disciplinary parent. My brother and I were also not used to not having him there to go to with questions, or to hang out with and talk to. This was a huge impact on me because my dad was always the guy I would go to for school help or problems with boys, but this allowed me to get to know my mom in a different way, and strengthened our relationship. My role also kind of changed in my family because my mom would lean on me more when things would go wrong, or she was upset. This also helped my parents’ relationship because they realized how much they really valued each other. My brother and I would lean on each other a lot more, and we are closer today for this.
As I stated above, my family moved a lot. We did most of our moving when I was in elementary and middle school. Moving so much caused me to mature a lot faster because I had to adapt to the changes, and I had to leave and make friends constantly. By living in three different countries it taught me that not everyone is the same, and helped to really diversify me. These restructurings in my life helped prepare me for college. For the first two years, my brother and I attended the same school, but this past year he transferred to University of South Carolina. All of these changes have also changed our roles within our family. When my brother and I went to the same school he leaned on me a lot, so to him I was more in the mom position trying to help him with school and I would give him money when he needed help. My mom still calls me to lean on me and talk, and I continue to talk less and less with my dad because he is constantly travelling, and I only see him a little bit over breaks. We are very close, but we just do not talk as much. Over last semester, I lost my aunt, and this took restructuring again of my family, but we came together and it helped us to become a lot closer again.
My family has been through a lot together. We have many different individual structures within each of our lives now, i.e. school, Panhellenic, sorority, clubs for me, but all of our individual structures help to make our roles within our family. My family and our structure is constantly changing every day, it is not constant.
My family has changed a lot over the years. When I was younger, my mom stayed how to take care of me and my younger sister Katie. My mom was the one who cooked and cleaned and was responsible for making sure my sister and I were taken care of. My mother was not assigned this position, but it was produced as my sister and I grew up and needed constant attention and my mother just so happened to be the one around. All my life I understood that my dad was the one who made the money, but that my parents were both needed to make sure everything within our family ran smoothly. Everything became routine, my mom would make dinner just in time for it to be on the table when my father got home. Each person was given a role in our family, and for most of my life these roles remained the same. However when I was 15 years old my mother passed away suddenly.
ReplyDeleteObviously a sudden change such as this disrupted the structure of my family. My father was left to perform both his role and my mother’s role to keep everything running smoothly. Gidden says that structure changes overtime. From the beginning my father adapted to his new role very easily. Katie and I were expected to take care of ourselves, such as doing our own laundry and making sure our homework was done. My father was the one who did the shopping as well as cooked. It’s been 6 years since my mother passed away. Although she holds a special place in my heart it is hard to see that my house ever ran a different way because the structure of my family seems so natural now. My father goes to work and usually calls my sister and I to ask what we would like to have for dinner. After work he heads to the grocery store and when he comes home my sister and I help him cook. This structure has changed over time. My father use to cook us dinner without our help, but after communicating with him and hearing how frustrated he was with everything he was responsible for we have divide the work up. Talk is action, if my father hadn’t mentioned his stress the structure would probably have remained the same. From time to time, my sister and I will argue about who’s responsible for cleaning after dinner or around the house. We understand that we need to work together to keep the house in proper shape and help my dad. In order to get the job done Katie and I communicate and try to make a fair plan for the both of us.
The structure of my family is interesting.I am the youngest and the only girl. My brothers are 24 and 26 and I am currently 21. My father has always wanted (and thinks he has) control but we all know my Mother is the real "woMAN" of the house. She takes on everything from cooking and cleaning, playing Mrs.Fix it, coaching my lacrosse team in high school, and an infinite amount of other amazing things. My Father is extremely anxious and, especially when it comes to me, sometimes prefers not to know everything that is going on. He is a personality I could not begin to explain and a lot of times it is easier when he and his anxiety are absent. When I entered into my sophomore year of high school my Dad left the company he was working for. When he finally found another job it was 2 hours away. Not wanting to uproot me from school my parents decided to drasticallly change their lifestyle. He would stay in the bed and breakfast his new company ownned and come home on weekends and she would stay at her job with us. I had a lot of respect for my parents with this decision. He hated being away but he NEVER once missed one of my lacrosse games or any of my brothers events. He eventually took another new job still 2 hours away. He bought a motor yacht becasue it was the more viable living option he said and has lived on it ever since. Its like everyone got so use to the routine and distance. My parents have been together since they were 15 and I have never doubted their commitment to each other. However, this living arrangement has caused an unreal amount of stress on the family recently. Misunderstandings are even more common then before and the neat little plan has proved to be more of a mess. The plan was once I got through high school my Mom would move to Annapolis with him and they would get a house. However, a number of things happend, including the economy, that slowed this move to a hault. My brothers and I discuss the family structure a lot and worry about my Mom. The talk has begun to turn us away from our Dad and while the new strucutre allowed for a lot of accomplishments it caused trouble in a lot of future interactions.
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